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Logan Crossley's avatar

I’ve been loving your recent posts, Fred — thank you for your really thoughtful perspective and your personal reflections. Looking forward to continuing to read along!

Something about this one that struck me was your description of the inherent strangeness of a bunch of adults at a religious service. Although I don’t belong to any particular faith community at the moment (and totally related to your feelings that doing so would be a valuable addition to my life), I found myself resisting your use of the word “humiliating.” I don’t mean to suggest that isn’t a valid emotion to feel in those circumstances, but as I was thinking about it, it seemed like a more positive, generous framing—one that gives more agency to everyone involved—would be the idea of “humility.” I just Googled to see how closely those words connote (apparently both are rooted in “humus” meaning earth or ground), and I also found this article on a website that looks like it’s a Bhagavad Gita devotional? https://gitadaily.com/the-difference-between-humiliation-and-humility/

That difference between having something imposed on you and choosing it yourself seems absolutely key to breaking down the web of guilt/pressure/obligation/fear that was so drilled into us in conservative Texas childhoods. Yet there is nothing about spirituality or even a specific religion that ties them inextricably to humiliation; to borrow the clumsy formulations that I know we both heard growing up, that tendency seems to be more a “man” thing than a “God” thing, which is to say, it’s a corruption of whatever the life force is that many of us intuit is surrounding and binding us together.

Hope you’re well, and happy writing! 😃

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Fred Tally-Foos's avatar

Logan! I really appreciate this - I also really thought about that humiliation/humility/humbling connection. I like that you saw it too. I think humility is such an interesting feeling because it *does* feature so heavily in almost every religious tradition. I’m excited to read the devotional piece you shared!

Ultimately I think I aspire to a level of comfort with feeling humiliated (cringe) so eventually it’s lost its power. Cue the “I am cringe but I am free” cow.

https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/2734530-i-am-cringe-but-i-am-free

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Logan Crossley's avatar

That cow is all of us 😂 I hope he finds what he’s looking for, or at least enjoys the ride!

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