Horoscope: about tummy troubles.

Virgo New Moon, 2024

This is not the beginning of a habit, but the New Moon was yesterday. So sorry, but the premise of the rest of this will (a) explain why and (b) maybe be gross.

I’m not going into all the details of how the past 105 hours and 35 minutes have been for me, but I will say that they’ve been exactly what you’d expect for the run-up to a Virgo New Moon when you’re an Aries Rising and it’s a 6th House Profection and your Natal Mercury is retrograde and opposite Mars in Leo. Something between eating a bad egg (when you already suspect you have a severe egg intolerance…) and a norovirus. 

Having been granted this absolutely perfect teaching tool, I realized it would be disrespectful to Spirit or G-d or my intestines not to use it as the framing for this Virgo New Moon horoscope.¹

General reminders about Virgo: she’s an earth sign and mutable. The stereotype of picky, pushy, Type-A people is most connected with the fact that combining these ideas, earth (materiality) and mutability (adaptability), brings us someone who is noticing what is really happening and trying to keep things moving as they should. It’s hard to bring movement to something solid, but we really do rely on it. 

The symbol is the young woman sitting at the harvest and sorting the good wheat from the bad wheat. This is part of why we associate Virgo with the intestinal system and with the body’s ability to pull out that which nourishes from our food and to purge that which we don’t need. This story sets the scene for a lot of what is happening in the sky this month.

Some of the movements that I’m focusing on this month are Mercury’s return into Virgo and Mars’s movement into Cancer. Mercury is retracing their steps along the path they recently walked backward in their retrograde. The classic advice here is to notice which “lessons” (read: disasters) from their retrograde are floating to the top for you to pay attention to. With Mars moving into Cancer we get a slower Mars (finally out of Gemini) but also a more uncomfortable Mars (being in fall in Cancer). Mars in Capricorn is the general of an army and Mars in Cancer is that general at home with their mother, being told to do chores, feeling like a child,  and remembering they are not god.  

I’m assigning a song from Tigers Blood to each sign this month, because I’m seeing Waxahatchee tour it for the second time next Sunday and it feels like a very Virgo album. I will not defend my assignments.

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let's add caffeine to this

For the Libra Risings among us… The loudest movements this month are occurring in the areas that pertain to very different areas of your life. Mars is entering your Cancer Tenth House which represents your public life and your career. This is uncomfortable. Mercury is entering your Virgo Twelfth House which represents your most inner life, withdrawal, isolation and retreat. I see the story this month highlighting the tension here, but also the warped interlocking that happens in these areas. Work sucks and the pressure to make work mean something bigger than it does is a really easy way to isolate yourself from the world and from yourself. 

When you are feeling gutted and your eyes are bloodshot because you’ve been expelling… everything, when you’re locked in your bathroom and wishing both for everyone to take care of you and for no one to look at or talk to you, you aren’t concerned with your career. And if that doesn’t sound right to you… this might be a good month to consider that!

For you: Evil Spawn